One Woman's testimony regarding abortifacient drugs

While State Representative Maurice Pilotte has voted twice for SB30, the New Hampshire Bill which allows for abortifacient drugs to be administered over the counter and even to underage females without parental notification (and this as a Catholic who receives Holy Eucharist), read this woman's testimony regarding the so-called "morning after pill":

Abortifacients -- The Other Forbidden Grief
Janet Morana, Associate Director, Priests for Life
I was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1952 and grew up educated in Catholic schools. I am the oldest of four children with 14 years separating the oldest to youngest in my family. I graduated college in 1974 and married in 1975. It was a time when my Catholic faith no longer seemed to make sense to me and I gradually drifted away and became a non-practicing Catholic. At the same time all my close friends were getting married and so marriage seemed like the next step to take— or so I thought.
I became engaged after dating my future husband for three months. From there things snowballed towards our wedding day real fast. At Pre-Cana classes the priest told us that if there were a really good reason to delay starting a family then birth control pills were an option we could consider. What I didn't realize was that this was bad advice both theologically, spiritually, psychologically and physically!
As I was the oldest of four siblings I already had many years of dealing with diapers and babysitting and so I felt that delaying starting a family was a good idea. Also I had taken birth control pills back in high school (although I wasn't sexually active) as prescribed by my OB/GYN for menstrual problems. Now a priest and doctor were both giving me the green light and so I began my journey down the slippery slope.
Three months before my wedding date I started taking birth control pills. I continued taking the pill for two years until it seemed like it was time to start a family. Once I came off the pill, I got pregnant immediately and gave birth to an absolutely beautiful baby girl. I threw all my attention into trying to be the best mother I could be and because of that wanted to delay having another baby right away. So I went back on birth control pills until my daughter was thirteen months old. At that time I felt she needed to have a sibling so I decided to go off the pill. Once again, I became pregnant almost immediately. The lesson I was teaching myself was this: no pills equals countless children!
This time I gave birth to beautiful twin girls. By this time information started to be released showing there was a risk for clots and strokes by taking birth control pills. Since there was a history of strokes in my family I was afraid to go back on the pill. I didn't know about NFP, in fact the only natural method that I knew of was the old "rhythm" method, which was considered by most to be not very reliable.
When the twins were three I thought I was pregnant again. It was just a scare but it was enough to make me do something really drastic. I had a tubal ligation. Now I felt I had solved all my problems— or so I thought.
I had embraced all the things that the feminist movement had been promoting as being liberating for women and empowering them. I had not been liberated but rather felt more and more trapped every day in a bad marriage.
As my marriage continued its downward spiral I focused more and more on my three daughters. The good news is that I became reconnected with my Catholic faith. As I began to rediscover my faith and the teachings of the Church I learned about God's beautiful plan for marriage, including what NFP was all about.
At the same time I also became aware of how birth control pills really worked.
I thought birth control pills stopped fertilization when in fact that is not the case. The pills stop the already-fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus. In other words, they act as abortifacients.
I didn't realize the impact this new found information would have on me until several years later when I was with a friend visiting Epcot Center in Disney World. It was in the Wonder of Life exhibit where I would come to the complete realization of the consequences of my birth control actions. As I began to watch a beautiful photographic video showing the wonder of how life began, I realized what taking the birth control pills really meant: aborting new life. In the years that I had been taking birth control pills, I had been very sexually active. I also knew that I was an extremely fertile woman. Given this fact, there is no doubt that I had successfully conceived new life many times, but that I had never given these little babies the chance to grow inside me. For the very first time in my life, I came to grips with the fact that I had not only shut myself off to life, but had also destroyed an unknown number of children. I came out of that exhibit and there was a giant rushing water fountain nearby. I walked over to it and began to sob uncontrollably. I stayed there for quite some time absorbed in my sudden feelings of grief and remorse. This was the very first time I became aware of the full impact of what I had done.
As my work in the pro-life movement continued I became more aware of the damage that abortion does to women. I realized that many of these women had felt alone with their grief but had found mercy and healing. These women who had come through healing needed to be a voice for other women who are still locked in the secret sin of abortion. I co-founded the "Silent No More Awareness" Campaign. People began to question me as to why I was involved in such a campaign when I hadn't had an abortion. Here again I had to come to grips with all the children I had lost because of birth control pills.
Most people that work in post abortion ministry only recognize the pain and grief from surgical abortion. Yet I know in my heart that the loss I feel is just as real as if I had had a surgical abortion. In fact, women who come to realize this loss from using abortifacients often have just as strong a sense of loss and grief. And yet there is an even bigger problem: Not enough people, not even those in post abortion recovery programs, realize the need to reach out to those of us that are suffering in silence. I know I am not alone. In fact when I am at conferences speaking about the "Silent No More Awareness" Campaign I have many women come up to me and share the grief they have from years of taking abortifacients.
But there is good news. I was able to come to grips with these feelings of grief and loss recently at a Rachel's Vineyard Retreat. It was a first step in having my feelings validated, and I began to deal with my loss in a new light. I am here to say that I will be "Silent No More" about the children that I aborted through birth control and I am reaching out to the other women who I know share these feelings. I am sure I am not the only woman with a testimony like this. I want others that would like to share their story to send it to me. I will post these testimonies here on our website. I know we can help many families realize the damage birth control will do to their lives by getting the word out. I also want to reach out to others that feel the pain that I have described and tell them that they too can take the first steps towards healing.
To find out more information about attending a Rachel's Vineyard Retreat, you can go to www.rachelsvineyard.org. Or you may contact me directly at testimony@priestsforlife.org


Priests for LifePO Box 141172Staten Island, NY 10314Tel. 888-PFL-3448, (718) 980-4400Fax 718-980-6515Email mail@priestsforlife.org